7/06/2005

Love




your life and mine
united in love -
mimosa branches








dein Leben und mein Leben
in Liebe vereint -
Mimosenzweige






you
and me -
mimosa branches




君在りて 我また在りて ミモザかな






The Japanese is a translation by Onohi san. Thank you so much!
June 2005


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What KIGO does to my love !!


This is a short musing about love
and what our kigo can do to it.

It all started with me watching the mimosa branches for a while, suddenly coming up with the haiku above.

This was a simple but special present to my husband, nothing more, sort of given to me by the mimosa itself.

My German friends thought as a haiku it was too obvious, stating it all, leaving no part for imagination or association. So I changed it to

you
and me -
Mimosa branches




du
und ich –
Mimosenzweige


This was better! Now there was the love between the lines and the reader could add up his own imagination, take part of the interpretation, well, it was even considered worth for publication in the WHR.

But I refused.

Such minimal haiku are not my style.


And this got me working on it. If the two lines represent the love between the lines, well, how about this one then?

. . . . .



you
and I –
cold coffee


cold coffee is a nonseasonal topic, while its colder cousin, ice coffee is a kigo for summer.

http://worldkigodatabase.blogspot.com/2005/09/iced-coffee-aisu-koohii-japan.html



But in the haiku above, what had happened to the love between the lines?
Cold coffe, a hot cup gotten cold, stale, yakks… Kalter Kaffee in German has even more negative meaning. There is a lot between the lines here too, but certainly not the simple and pure love from the first version of the haiku.



. . . . .



you
and I –
summer heat



This is definitely a kigo for summer, but there we might associate the relationship not so much with love, more with lust… and leaving the next morning without even knowing the name of the other one…



. . . . .



you
and I –
three black raven



Raven itself is a nonseasonal topic, but somehow here the haiku gets a different flavor again. THREE, what is happening to the relationship now?
http://worldkigodatabase.blogspot.com/2005/03/crow-karasu.html



. . . . .



you
and I –
cold coming back



Here we have a kigo for spring, when the cold is coming back
and the feeling of desolation is even greater.
http://happyhaiku.blogspot.com/2005/03/cold-coming-back.html



Somehow the love seems gone, and not even to be found between the lines any more….

. . . . .

I could go on like that with more kigo, but let me stop here.


you
and I –




This alone is not enough to read between the lines about a simple, pure love.



I guess you see by now, the kigo is very important to set the underlying mood of a sentence, a couple of words, the other two lines in a haiku.
The meaning between the lines depends a lot on the meaning of the kigo, which sets the general mood of a haiku.
Therefore it is important to know which mood a certain kigo is setting and then use this mood skillfully.


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5 comments:

. Gabi Greve said...

Dear Gabi,
for your husband and you:

the wooden temple
reflected in your eyes
a song for you


Geert Verbeke

...............................

Thanks a lot, Geert san!
Gabi
......................................................................

Michael Baribeau said...


singing together
he centers the hymnal
on her

Michael Baribeau

. Gabi Greve said...

What a nice love note, Gabi. Your husband is a fortunate man.

L.
...................................

Yes, Gabi, he's indeed special and you're both very lucky to share such a strong love.

P.
...................................

ah gabi san so nice your wonderful love

your husband a very lucky man
your love overflows and touches us all

S.
...................................

Thank you all so very much, friends from WHCmm, and also Michael, for your kind comments!

Somehow it was really strange just taking this unimportant photo and suddenly the reality of our love dawned on me... :o)

Gabi
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Anonymous said...

Dear Gabi san

I disagree, LOVE is the most "specialist" reason of all!!

bow

Enjoy the love.

keigu

ai... chibi

a gardenia falls -- fragrance in the morning mist

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cherrypoetryclub/message/24064

をのひ said...

君在りて 我また在りて ミモザかな
( kimi ari te ware mata ari te mimoza kana )

ミモザ――
全体に、しっとりと優しい色あいで
枝も葉も、どこまでもそれぞれが対になって・・・
ガビさんとベルさんの歩んで来られた
永い日々と季節を物語るように――。
――愛することに、そう、理由はいらない。

美しい写真と飾らない美しい句がなんともステキです。
優しいひと時をありがとう Gabiさん!