Sunbeam for us all !


.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. A Sunbeam for us all !

A little haibun.

It started with a haiku which I wrote on the spot of the event

finding its way to me <>
a sunbeam
amidst hailstones

Some friends from WHChaikuneoclassical voiced their opinions.

For example,
B.san thought it lacked the “short – long – short” form and suggested a change of the lines.

That did not work for me for the following reaon:

In the situation of my experiencing this, my first reaction was really WHY ME ? then the sunbeam, then the hailstones came to mind...
Standing in our garden is always a meditation of sorts. And my haiku are almost always a realistic report of what is happening, like a snapshot with a camera and not a painting, where you could change reality.

With this in mind, A.san suggested another few versions, giving the reason

“Either way points out that you are at the end of the sunbeam. The first shows surprise that it is a sunbeam, the second the surprise is that it is one you.”

I liked the second version best

sudden hailstones—
a sunbeam finds its way
to me

And I wrote the following answer to all group members:

Thanks for your thoughts and comments on the little sunshine in my life !

I feel that by writing you all participated in the sunshine beam, so now I take up the last one and rephrase, just for us here of course:

> > > sudden hailstones—
> > > a sunbeam finds its way
> > > to us !

Let us all bath in the same sunshine !

By that time, I remembered a photo in my Gallery and now I can present you another version of this moment, which happens in my garden from time to time. This was in January a few years ago, and the object of the sunbeam was the flower.

Look at the situation.
Just long enough for me to run into the house, get the camera, take two shots and all was gone, lost in snow again.

sudden snowflakes –
a sunbeam finds its way
to camellias

Now I know why the nosy sunbeam then and yesterday wanted to be in MY garden and not in the neighbour’s. .. .. ..
To be shared with all of you, my wonderful Haiku friends, of course !

Thank you all, my friends, who contributed to this story !

© Gabi in April 2005






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