tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8669788.post116899943039094411..comments2007-04-15T20:25:59.157-07:00Gabi Grevehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16362456518166174106noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8669788.post-1169283316028889442007-01-20T00:55:00.000-08:002007-01-20T00:55:00.000-08:00wow beautiful carpet<BR/><BR/>Your cats might have a wonderful meditation on it too<BR/><BR/>Have a nice haiku weekend<BR/><BR/>Etsuko<BR/><BR/>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cherrypoetryclub/message/29893Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8669788.post-1169080530805641722007-01-17T16:35:00.000-08:002007-01-17T16:35:00.000-08:00I cannot tell a lie. I love your rainy days, Gabi...<BR/><BR/>The pinocchio daruma is smashing and the carpet meditation mind bending...<BR/>thanks for such an interesting blog.... <BR/>doris<BR/>...................................<BR/><BR/>Good morning, Doris san,<BR/>and it is raining again today ...<BR/>GABI<BR/>::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::. Gabi Grevehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06469970377160309143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8669788.post-1169080414775818942007-01-17T16:33:00.000-08:002007-01-17T16:33:00.000-08:00Gabi,<BR/><BR/>I like the suggestions made to tweak the poem <BR/><BR/>carpet patterns<BR/>mind patterns<BR/><BR/>all kinds of combinations<BR/><BR/>I like the photoshoped picture of the carpet. It reminds me of how the surface of the lake looks in winter when freezing.<BR/><BR/>thanks from AmericaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8669788.post-1169035254217247742007-01-17T04:00:00.000-08:002007-01-17T04:00:00.000-08:00winter zazen . . .<BR/>the carpet's pattern unravels<BR/>in my mind<BR/><BR/>Richard Kay<BR/><BR/>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/simply_haiku/message/18083<BR/><BR/>。. Gabi Grevehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06469970377160309143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8669788.post-1169024213669612492007-01-17T00:56:00.000-08:002007-01-17T00:56:00.000-08:00Dear GABI, <BR/>Thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem!!! <BR/>thanks Kala<BR/><BR/>................................... Gabi Grevehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06469970377160309143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8669788.post-1169008921258804392007-01-16T20:42:00.000-08:002007-01-16T20:42:00.000-08:00Hi Gabi san,<BR/><BR/>This is a wonderful image -- and isn't that how the stubborn mind<BR/>behaves?<BR/><BR/>Gabi, your first line seems too wordy (8 syllables). If you dropped<BR/>"winter" it would sound more pleasing to my ear, and you would have a good senryu, which I think would be more appropriate to the subject anyway. <BR/><BR/>On the other hand, you could drop "morning", but then "winter meditation" sounds more like merely thinking about winter, not zen practice. <BR/><BR/>Finally, if you dropped the first two word entirely, your senryu's minimalism would nicely match the practice of meditation. In any event, the kigo "winter" seems forced. My opinion only.<BR/><BR/>Your beautiful carpet photos are a real pleasure!<BR/><BR/>warmly,<BR/><BR/>--Billie<BR/>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/simply_haiku/message/18069<BR/><BR/>...................................<BR/><BR/>I agree the first line is too long, but still, being a HAIKU fan, I prefer it with the kigo.<BR/><BR/>But thanks for your considerations !<BR/><BR/>GABI<BR/>::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::. Gabi Grevehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06469970377160309143noreply@blogger.com